Pathaan

 

DIRECTED BY-:
Siddharth Anand
STARRING-:
Shah Rukh Khan
Deepika Padukone
John Abraham
YEAR OF RELEASE-:
2023
PREMISE-:
An Indian agent races against a doomsday clock as a ruthless mercenary, with a bitter vendetta, mounts an apocalyptic attack against the country.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.

THE NEGATIVES:

GENERAL CRITICISMS

• The music of the film was painfully mediocre. Jim’s theme had an overbearing effect of women screaming awkwardly. Pathaan’s theme on the other hand, while enjoyable in the moment, was very forgettable and failed to make a lasting impression, at least on me.

• While the dialogues of the film weren’t horrendously bad, they weren’t exactly good and were often either unnecessary, cringe, or delivered in an awkward manner. Below are few examples of dialogues which really broke my immersion and gave me second-hand embarrassment—:

• Qadir saying, “What are you looking at? It’s cancer. Not some pretty girl’s instagram page” to his doctor in the beginning of the movie.

• Jim’s delivery of “So what’s it gonna be buddy?” to Pathaan.

• Jim’s delivery of “How does it feel guys?” during his video call with the authorities.

• When Pathaan places the bravery award in front of Nandini’s photo, there was absolutely no reason for Pathaan to then also explicitly say, “If anyone deserves this award, it’s you”, as if it wasn’t already very obvious. In my opinion, a little bit of subtlety, which would’ve involved removing that line of dialogue all together, would’ve worked in favor of the film.

• The visual effects of the film ranged from mediocre to inexcusably horrible.

• Almost none of the film's jokes worked for me, especially the ones made during the "Stealing Raktbeej" sequence in the first half.

PATHAAN’S ESCAPE FROM AFRICA

• We’re meant to believe that Pathaan let himself get captured so that he could kidnap Raafe to pry out information from him. But this plan relies on A LOT of variables and conveniences falling into place the way Pathaan wants. What if Raafe’s men had tied Pathaan to a pole instead of a chair whose bolts Pathaan couldn’t undo? What if Raafe accidentally got shot/killed during the whole escape? What if the goons themselves intentionally shot Raafe in order to prevent him from spewing out critical information during torture?

• Pathaan LUCKILY manages to remove the nuts and bolts of the legs of his chair JUST BEFORE Raafe is about to kill him. 

• After removing the above mentioned nuts and bolts, Pathaan STUPIDLY decides to not only DROP said nuts and bolts to the ground for EVERYONE in the room to see, but also wastes time by delivering “heroic” dialogue to Raafe, instead of immediately trying to escape. What if Raafe or one of Raafe’s henchmen SHOT Pathaan right then and there after seeing the nuts and bolts hit the floor? What would have Pathaan done then? This brings me to my next criticism-:

• Raafe and his henchmen STUPIDLY decide to NOT shoot Pathaan when he drops the nuts and bolts to the floor and is wasting his time delivering dialogue.

• After undoing the nuts and bolts of the chair, when Pathaan kicks Raafe, he gets up and STUPIDLY decides to stand in a smoldering, heroic pose, instead of getting on with the escape. 

• While Pathaan is doing the above mentioned stupidity, Raafe’s henchmen also STUPIDLY decide to just stand and stare, instead of shooting Pathaan with their guns.

• Raafe’s henchmen STUPIDLY decide to engage in hand-to-hand combat by using knives and rods, instead of using their GUNS.

• Even when they do attempt to use their guns, they STUPIDLY do so by getting VERY close to Pathaan, so that Pathaan has an opportunity to disarm them.

• When Raafe eventually gets the drop on Pathaan, he STUPIDLY decides to just keep aiming his gun at him, instead of actually SHOOTING him.

• When the grenades explode inside where Pathaan and Raafe are, Pathaan LUCKILY is able to jump away unscathed and LUCKILY has the right balance and momentum to GLIDE on the one of the wings of a parked helicopter.

• The henchmen LUCKILY miss ALL of their shots they take at Pathaan, both when he is on the ground AND when he is in the helicopter. 

• The helicopter is SOMEHOW able to withstand THOUSANDS of rounds of constant gunfire.

• Raafe, who’s tied to the base of Pathaan’s helicopter, SOMEHOW doesn’t get shot during all of the above mentioned constant gunfire. In fact, as mentioned previously, it would’ve made sense for the henchmen to intentionally shoot Raafe, so that he doesn’t reveal any information to Pathaan during torture.

PATHAAN VS. JIM IN DUBAI

• Why didn’t Jim simply abduct the scientists from their homes or offices? It seemed highly unbelievable to me that he could track them well enough to know that they’ll be making an appearance at the conference, but he apparently couldn’t track down their place of residence/work.

• The officers in front of the scientists’ car stupidly decide to continue driving despite seeing a masked man with a rocket launcher RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

• Once Pathaan catches up to Jim’s hummer, he stupidly decides to ram his SEDAN into the side of the HUMMER, instead of lowering his windows and shooting at the hummer’s tires.

• After crashing into Pathaan’s car, Jim decides to get down from his hummer and exchange dialogues with Pathaan. This is stupid because Jim would’ve known that the local police / Indian authorities WOULD BE tracking his hummer and can arrive AT ANY SECOND. So, every second Jim wastes further puts his mission in jeopardy.

• Pathaan and Raza are LUCKILY able to exit their crashed car JUST BEFORE it explodes, and are also LUCKILY able to survive the impact of the blast.

• It is absolutely ABSURD that neither Jim nor his men in the helicopter failed to notice Pathaan’s helicopter coming towards them. Helicopters are extremely LOUD and HUGE vehicles and it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see/hear them coming, especially when you’re on the run and would be on the lookout for the police.

• Instead of shooting at Jim who’s standing on the roof of his hummer, Pathaan STUPIDLY decides to shoot a hook rope onto Jim’s helicopter. We’re meant to believe that this is done so that both the helicopters are “linked” together so that if Jim’s men try to bring down Pathaan’s helicopter, they themselves would go down too. BUT, this is incredibly stupid, because Pathaan just ASSUMES that Jim’s men are not going to try to cut down / shoot the hook rope in order to unlink themselves from Pathaan’s helicopter. This brings me to my next criticism —:

• Why didn’t Jim’s men in the helicopter just shoot at the hook’s rope or cut it in order to unlink themselves from Pathaan’s helicopter and then shoot at Pathaan? Moreover, Jim’s men already had Dr. Sahani on their helicopter. And, Jim had Dr. Farooqui with him on the hummer. So, why didn’t they also threaten to kill Dr. Sahani and Dr. Farooqui unless Pathaan and his team backed off ? Pathaan for some reason also STUPIDLY relies on Jim and his men being this idiotic, as there is no indication that he anticipated them using Dr. Sahani and Dr. Farooqui as hostages.

• The scene where Pathaan swings from his helicopter and gets onto Jim’s hummer is stupid because of the following reasons —:

• What if JIM’S men shot Pathaan while he was swinging? It’s not like anything was stopping them from doing so, because even after shooting Pathaan they would’ve still been linked to Pathaan’s helicopter and hence there would be no risk of their own helicopter going down. Which, begs the question —:

• Why DIDN’T Jim’s men shoot Pathaan while he was swinging?

• By getting onto the hummer, Pathaan STUPIDLY risks Dr. Farooqui’s life. What if, during this scuffle, Dr. Farooqui fell off the hummer?

• Jim clearly sees Pathaan swinging towards him, yet he doesn’t do ANYTHING to prevent receiving Pathaan’s kick. Pathaan’s plan also STUPIDLY relies on Jim being this moronic.

• Jim KNOWS that Pathaan has a gun and yet, he still decides to continue exposing himself on the hummer, instead of taking cover. Once again, Pathaan’s plan also RELIES on Jim being this stupid. Pathaan ALSO stupidly does NOT shoot Jim while swinging onto his hummer.

• Pathaan’s kick LUCKILY doesn’t cause Jim to fall off the hummer.

• While swinging to the other side, Dr. Farooqui LUCKILY dodges being smacked by an incoming bus, another indication of how stupid Pathaan’s plan was.

• While all of the above is happening, why does the traffic around them still run like normal? Who is going to continue driving their cars when they see two giant helicopters at a very low altitude and two guys fighting on a hummer? Any sane person would at least slow down, if not stop driving completely, and only the police cars will be allowed to tail the hummer. Which begs the question — WHERE are all the police cars? The authorities had time to arrange for a helicopter for the chase but couldn’t get a few police cars to chase the hummer?

• As the hummer crashes, both Jim and Pathaan LUCKILY manage to grab onto the hook’s rope.

• Why does the driver of the truck on which Jim and Pathaan land on keep on driving the truck?

• The fact that Jim is able to not only pull the hook’s rope towards him but also able to “attach” it to the truck is ABSURD.

• After getting unhooked, why didn’t Pathaan’s chopper follow Jim’s chopper? Did Jim also just ASSUME that the authorities would be stupid enough to NOT follow him after getting unhooked?

• After getting unhooked, how could Jim’s chopper just vanish into thin air? Did the authorities not check with air traffic control, military, radio, or satellites?

PATHAAN MEETS RUBAI IN SPAIN

• We're meant to believe that the money transferred to Jim’s Dubai team was given via Rubai’s account in order to lure Pathaan. But, we're also told that the money was transferred DAYS before the Dubai operation, which means that Jim always wanted Pathaan to follow Rubai to Spain. Then, WHY did Jim make multiple attempts to kill Pathaan throughout the Dubai fiasco? 

• It was highly stupid of Pathaan to go to Spain ALL ALONE, and for J.O.C.R to be OKAY with him going alone. They should’ve at least sent a tech guy who could track Pathaan’s moves and could call for backup to save Pathaan from exactly the kind of trap he later found himself in. 

• Jim and Rubai’s plan to use Pathaan also STUPIDLY relies on Pathaan coming to the mission alone with NO ONE watching his back. 

• It was very stupid of Pathaan to mingle and dance with Rubai at the party, since he still didn’t know for sure if she worked for Jim. Therefore, it made no sense for him to make her aware of his presence.

• Rubai is somehow able to defeat every one of Jim’s henchman, even though all of them have guns. In the initial stages of the fight, they FOR SOME REASON don’t use their guns and instead engage in hand to hand combat with Rubai. Even when they DO attempt to use guns, they do so by getting very close to Rubai and Pathaan. 

• LUCKILY, all of Jim’s henchmen MISS the shots they take at Rubai and Pathaan, and when they do manage to hit Rubai, it is LUCKILY at a non-fatal place on her body.

• Jim’s plan to have Rubai work with Pathaan makes NO sense at all, for the following reasons—:

• WHY did they even NEED Pathaan for the mission? What unique contribution did Pathaan do to steal Raktbeej? Are we to believe that neither Jim, nor Rubai, nor any of Jim’s men were smart enough to come with the BASIC (and stupid) plan Pathaan did? Why couldn’t Rubai just do the same thing with one of Jim’s henchmen?

• Given how desperately Jim’s henchmen fight to stop Rubai and Pathaan from escaping, it’s clear that Jim did NOT reveal his plan of actually using Pathaan through Rubai to his men. Which is stupid, because what would have Jim done if one of his men actually managed to kill Pathaan or Rubai?  I mean, Rubai even got shot even if it was LUCKILY non-fatal. So was Jim just relying on Rubai and Pathaan’s LUCK?

• The film wants us to believe that Rubai somehow hacked ISI servers and made herself seem like an undercover ISI agent, because there is no other logical way that Pathaan and Nandini trust her. So, how deep does her fake undercover status go? What if Nandini personally inquired one of the ISI officials about Rubai? What was Rubai's (and Jim's) plan then? 

• Pathaan never questions Rubai about why exactly she needs HIM for the mission and why hasn’t she used an ISI agent. He just accepts that she needs him because he was stationed in Russia, which could’ve again prompted him to ask “Are you telling me NO ISI agent has ever been to Russia? You even know that Raktbeej is in the Woskwich tower, so why do you even NEED someone who’s been to Russia?”. But ofcourse, Pathaan asking Rubai these questions would’ve hinted at Pathaan being intelligent, which would go against the film’s capabilities.

STEALING RAKTBEEJ

• Pathaan’s plan to enter the Woskwich tower (the place where Raktbeej is stored) includes him and Rubai landing on top of the tower after deploying themselves from two separate planes. This does not make sense for the following reasons—:

• Given the fact that it’s RUSSIA and the building in which Raktbeej is stored would obviously be a very VALUABLE one, wouldn’t the authorities (military radios/satellites/air traffic control/building’s own security) immediately pick up on two planes flying straight towards the building? Forget about the authorities, wouldn’t the ordinary civilians working INSIDE the building and roaming on the street below also notice two planes (with people HANGING from them) flying towards the tower IN BROAD DAYLIGHT? Won’t the employees working in the building also notice Pathaan and Rubai climbing the glass of the tower? Not only that, wouldn’t the people working inside Grigor’s and Karen’s offices also notice Pathaan and Rubai “take off” from the roof of the respective buildings? HOW in the world does NONE of the above mentioned things happen? And, were Pathaan and Rubai just HOPING that they would get THAT lucky? 

• Also, who placed those balloon-inflation devices on top of Karen’s and Grigor’s buildings?

• ALSO, although it is intended to be comedic, it was still really LUCKY how Pathaan was able to acquire Karen's fingerprints.

PATHAAN’S ESCAPE FROM RUSSIA

• Why didn’t the Russians simply execute Pathaan in their prison? Why bother to kill him in such an elaborate way on the train?

• Pathaan removes his handcuffs in an unrealistically easy manner. The scene would’ve been much cooler if he had to fight WITH his handcuffs on.

• Tiger CONVENIENTLY crashes through the roof of the train JUST before a Russian prisoner is able to land a kick that would’ve seriously injured Pathaan.

• The film NEVER addresses the fact that RAW/JOCR sent Tiger to rescue Pathaan but never sent anyone to rescue Jim when he needed them.

• RAW/J.O.C.R/Tiger’s plan to rescue Pathaan from the train makes no sense for the following reasons—:

• Why did they send only ONE middle aged, UNARMED agent to save Pathaan? 

• How do the guards in the other compartment not IMMEDIATELY notice Tiger literally crashing through the roof of their train and beating up the Russian prisoners? Did Tiger also just RELY on the Russian guards being this oblivious and idiotic?

• Why wasn’t the train stopped immediately AFTER Tiger’s arrival?

• Once they do arrive, why didn’t the guards immediately SHOOT Pathaan and Tiger instead of just standing with their anti-riot gear? Did Tiger’s plan also just RELIED on the guards being stupid enough to not use their guns?

• The physics of Tiger’s handkerchief fighting just do not make sense. I have no idea how he’s able to knock out a guy by simply flicking his handkerchief on his face.

• Why does the train keep running even AFTER there’s a GRENADE explosion on board?

• The above mentioned grenade explosion CONVENIENTLY —:

• Doesn’t derail that particular compartment or even the entire train,

• Doesn’t separate that compartment from the rest of the train,

• Doesn’t do ANY significant damage to Tiger or Pathaan,

• Doesn’t do ANY damage to A LOT of guards and prisoners on board who were IN BETWEEN the two cars where the grenade went off.

• How was Tiger able to land on the train? Surely he must have had a chopper or some type of vehicle right? Because if he doesn’t, then what was his escape plan?

• Why didn’t the Russian chopper following the train first ask the driver of the train to STOP the train and then just fire at Pathaan and Tiger? Why was it planning to bomb the entire train with its rocket? Do the Russians not care about their property?

• The train LUCKILY goes through a tunnel JUST BEFORE the rocket is about to hit it.

• On top of the train, the Russian guards once again, decide to engage in hand to hand combat with Pathaan and Tiger instead of using their GUNS. When some guards DO bring out machine guns, they are LUCKILY interrupted by a pole and have to duck.

• Of all the places it could've crashed on, the Russian helicopter CONVENIENTLY crashes onto the railway track's bridge.

• Tiger and Pathaan are LUCKILY able to reach the track and not fall off the bridge.

PATHAAN MEETS RUBAI IN PARIS

• I found it odd that Pathaan got to know about Rubai’s presence in Paris through Nandini, and not on his own, since he presumably would’ve had a computer in his safe house. 

• Rubai’s motivation to betray Jim is essentially summed up in this line of dialogue — “I’m a soldier Pathaan, just like you. I will do anything for my country. But this? Killing thousands of innocents? This is not my idea of war.” Let’s break down the two key parts of this dialogue to illustrate just how illogical and frustrating it is —:

• Statement 1 —: “I’m a soldier Pathaan, just like you.” 
• The Stupidity —: This attempt by Rubai to dignify her job is nonsensical, since by working for Outfit X, she is a TERRORIST, and NOT a soldier. This scene would’ve been much more dynamic if Pathaan actually pointed this fact out to her as a way of grilling her more for betraying him.

• Statement 2 —: “Killing thousands of innocents is not my idea of war.”
• The Stupidity —: We are explicitly informed in the beginning of the film that Outfit X is a private terrorist group that works for bigger terrorist organizations like Aleph, Boko Haram, Daesh, etc. So, Rubai didn’t have a problem working for Jim THEN but suddenly she has an awakening of conscience NOW? These questions SHOULD have been brought up by Pathaan. But then again, that would indicate that he's an actual character, which the film is unfortunately not interested in.

ATTACK ON JIM’S LAB IN RUSSIA

• Why didn’t Jim threaten to kill Dr. Sahani unless Pathaan and his team backed off? In fact, it makes no sense for Jim to leave Dr. Sahani alive after Pathaan and his team attacked his lab, since he’s a loose end and if the authorities got to him, he could help them in creating a cure for the virus. Even IF we assume that the good guys were fine with Dr. Sahani dying at the hands of Jim due to the above reason, it would’ve been much better if this dilemma was addressed — sacrificing one life to save many. 

• The bad guys LUCKILY miss all the shots they take at the good guys.

• Jim CONVENIENTLY catches up to Rubai JUST BEFORE she and Dr. Sahani are about to escape with the orbs.

• Jim STUPIDLY wastes time talking to Rubai instead of shooting her and leaving with the orbs.

• Jim for SOME reason DOESN’T shoot Rubai first, who’s the immediate threat and has the orbs, and instead decides to shoot Dr. Sahani.

• Jim not only DOES NOT shoot Rubai first, but also completely turns 180 degrees to face Dr. Sahani while talking to him, exposing his left profile for Rubai to attack. Granted, Rubai did not have a gun in this scene and could not have shot Jim, but Jim did NOT know that and hence taking his eyes off Rubai was a VERY stupid thing to do on his part. This also begs the question — Why DIDN’T Rubai have a gun in this scene? When she incapacitated the two guards a few seconds earlier, why didn’t she arm herself?

• When Jim shoots at Rubai after killing Dr. Sahani, LUCKILY, none of his bullets hit Rubai. 

• After Rubai managed to hide under a table and protect herself from Jim’s shooting, WHY did Jim not FINISH Rubai? He knew she was hiding a few feet in front of him and killing her would only take a few seconds, and yet for some reason he chose not to. We can’t even bring up the defense of “maybe he was in a hurry”, because he’s shown delivering unnecessary dialogue to Dr. Sahani and Rubai just SEONDS earlier.

• Pathaan is CONVENIENTLY able to shoot the orbs out of Jim’s backpack while chasing him on his motorcycle.

• Two of Jim’s men show in a truck up to attack Pathaan JUST AFTER Pathaan manages to shoot the orbs out of Jim’s backpack.

• Rubai, who just has ice skates on, is SOMEHOW able to catch up to Jim, who’s on a motorcycle, on the frozen lake. 

• Jim STUPIDLY doesn’t use his gun or grenades to incapacitate Rubai immediately after she shows up on the frozen lake. 

• Pathaan’s bullets CONVENIENTLY don’t hit the tires of Jim’s motorcycle. 

• Rubai LUCKILY survives the grenade explosion, her head getting smashed into ice, and drowning in freezing water.

• When Rubai falls underwater, Jim STUPIDLY doesn’t KILL Pathaan. Jim should’ve used his brain and killed Pathaan, jumped in the water, retrieved the orb, and then escaped.

• Pathaan could’ve also shot Jim on the ice lake BEFORE saving Rubai, but doesn’t, for some reason. Jim also stupidly RELIES on Pathaan not doing this.

• I also don't understand WHY Pathaan was against Luthra taking the orb to make a vaccine for the virus. Pathaan KNOWS that Jim has another orb of the virus so making a vaccine for it would be the MOST logical decision. If the film was trying to make a point of "But what if Luthra himself uses the virus for his own benefit", then that could have been expressed through Pathaan's dialogues. Moreover, although Pathaan's suspicion of Luthra's intentions would not be unwarranted, surely it's understood that the orb is better in Luthra's hands than Jim's, right?

• It could also have been explained better WHY exactly Pathaan now suddenly completely trusts Rubai. Yes, she did help the good guys get the virus orb, but what makes Pathaan think that that ISN'T another one of Jim's plans? Rubai also appeared to do a good thing ("save" Pathaan's life while risking her own in Spain) the first time he met her, but betrayed him later. So what makes Pathaan believe that this time is any different?

INDIAN INSTITUTE OF CONTAGIOUS DISEASES

• Apparently, Jim SOMEHOW knew EXACTLY when to hack the systems of Indian Institute of Contagious Diseases so that he can spew out exposition and reveal that the spread of the virus has already begun, in a way that Nandini is also present there.

• Why does Jim even reveal that the virus has started spreading? Why does he even let the good guys know how the orb works? Wouldn’t that prevent his goal of spreading the virus and causing maximum destruction? Because had Jim not hacked the facility and let them know about the spread of the virus, the scientists would’ve taken much longer to realize that the virus has spread and by that time, a lot more number of people would have been infected. So, IF Jim wanted to rub it in and boast about his genius, he could’ve done that through a video call later, AFTER maximum damage was done.

• The way the virus functions was also inconsistent — The lab scientists were presumably exposed to the virus for much longer than Nandini was, and yet they only started showing symptoms once Jim’s sent his message. So it can be assumed that the time taken for the virus to show symptoms is at least a few hours. However, Nandini started showing symptoms IMMEDIATELY after being exposed to it. Rubai herself says, “Anyone infected by the virus cannot go very far”, and then says “Once it spreads, it decimates a whole city in a matter of days” these two sentences are incongruous given the above fact.

THE CLIMAX

• After rescuing Rubai from the waterboarding interrogation room, HOW was Pathaan able to get past the (presumably armed) security personnel who would’ve been present OUTSIDE the room and near the exit? Moreover, HOW was Pathaan able to get Rubai on his team for the final mission, considering Luthra was adamant on keeping her in interrogation? The best we can assume, given that Luthra is later seen coordinating with the team, is that Pathaan, Rubai and Luthra worked things out between them behind the scenes before the final mission. This however, was a missed opportunity for some character development, as we could've seen Luthra become more like-able by learning to trust Rubai and allowing her to help Pathaan bring down Jim.

• Jim and his men STUPIDLY do not find it suspicious that there are NO local police officers / ambulances / doctors / scientists surrounding the numerous “dead” people in the Afghan village. The good guys also STUPIDLY rely on the bad guys being this stupid.

• Given that the hazmat suits Jim’s men wear have TRANSPARENT coverings over the face region, it makes NO sense that Pathaan and his team were able to enter Jim’s cave. The security guards stationed at the entry of the cave would’ve INSTANTLY noticed that the people entering are NOT Jim’s men. Once again, Pathaan and his team STUPIDLY rely on the above stupidity taking place.

• Once Pathaan’s team enters the cave and has all of Jim’s men at gunpoint, Pathaan STUPIDLY wastes his time delivering heroic dialogues, instead of immediately working to deactivate the missile and arresting everyone. This is especially stupid, considering neither Pathaan nor his team had any idea whether any of the bad guys have a remote device in their pockets that could activate the missile. And yet, instead of ordering EVERYONE to put their hands up, NOT move an inch, searching everyone individually, and then arresting them, Pathaan moronically thinks it is the right time to just stand and deliver “witty” dialogues.

• When Pathaan sees Jim on the edge of a cliff with his jetpack, he has PLENTY of seconds to shoot at him, yet for some reason decides NOT to.

• There is absolutely ZERO adherence to laws of physics when it comes to the jet-pack action sequence, and how Pathaan is able to apparently JUMP onto Jim’s jetpack mid air.

• The crashing of Jim’s jetpack with Pathaan on it into a cabin should’ve killed BOTH of them.

• Jim STUPIDLY tells Pathaan WHERE exactly the orb is, WHEN it is going to get activated, and HOW exactly to stop it from getting activated. It’s almost like Jim himself DIDN’T want his plan to succeed.  

• LUCKILY, Pathaan is able to get to the detonator just TWO seconds before the orb can detonate.

• Jim FOR SOME REASON doesn’t FINISH Pathaan once he stabs him with his knife. Instead, he just stands and delivers unnecessary dialogue.

• Jim gets a fairly painless and instant death by falling off a cliff, which seemed like a missed opportunity for a payoff,  as Pathaan had earlier promised Nandini that he would make sure Jim gets a worse death than her.  

• Missed opportunity for character development — In the epilogue, Pathaan decides that he wants to leave J.O.C.R, but we’re never exactly told WHY. This could’ve been a great moment of character development, where we could see that perhaps the death of his fellow agents including Nandini has taken a toll on him, and perhaps he’s questioning his own ideology of patriotism, or maybe he’s having a moral crisis as he starts to see that there’s some truth to Jim’s belief of “Protecting Mother India is a business of an endless supply of coffins”.  But no, this interesting kernel of character is quickly brushed aside, as Pathaan is made the new head of J.O.C.R, and he walks away to shake his leg to "Jhoome Jo Pathaan” with Rubai.

THE POSITIVES:

• The performances by everyone in the cast were serviceable for the script and the pitch of the film. The film would’ve undoubtedly been worse off it wasn’t for the charm and acting abilities of the main cast. 

• During the first action scene in Africa, I really liked the shot where the camera tracks a shotgun in the air as it lands in Pathaan’s hands. 

• During Jim’s introduction in Dubai, I liked that he ironically whistled the tune of “Ae Mere Watan Ke Logon”.

• I liked that at least Jim’s motivation for hating India and the concept of patriotism made sense, given his backstory.

• I liked Jim’s comment about an “endless supply of coffins” when he’s trying to “recruit” Pathaan.

• When Rubai is saving’s Pathaan life from Jim’s henchmen in Spain, Pathaan’s brief quip — “Your’s ma’am” — as he pushes one of the henchmen in her direction for her to beat up was charming.

• The story behind the origin of Pathaan’s name was short and sweet.

• While most of the action in the film is bombastically ridiculous, I really liked the scene where Pathaan fights the Russian prisoners on the train as it was the only fight scene that felt somewhat realistic and grounded because of the following reasons —:
1. It was a one take shot, which lent a unique sense of immersion to the scene.
2. The fact that Pathaan is initially able to fight the prisoners off made sense, as he’s established to be skilled in hand to hand combat and the people he was fighting were just prisoners and not trained fighters.
3. Because the people he’s fighting are just prisoners, the most common flaw in most of the film’s action scenes — the fact that the bad guys don’t use their guns to attack — was also resolved.
4. Pathaan get progressively more exhausted as the fight carries on, which was a nice touch, indicating the fact that he’s old, injured, tired and vulnerable.

• I liked the moment where Pathaan, with the help of Raza, is able to get the drop on Rubai in Paris.

• Jim’s “Has ISI turned into some dating website for Indian agents?” joke felt very meta, acknowledging the absurdity of the "lovers from rival spy agencies" trope that's present in most of the films of this spy universe.

• The post-song scene with Pathaan and Tiger was a fun little wink to the audience and the state of Bollywood’s box-office. It was probably the only scene in the movie that made me smile, as even though I don’t like the fact that a film this intellectually insulting made a lot of money, I’d have to concede that Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan are probably the last remaining “superstars” of Bollywood who are still capable of pulling insane amounts of box-office collections that are incomparable to the newer generations of actors. I only wish, however, as a cinephile, that these collections were also coupled with genuinely good and impactful stories.

RATING-: 2/10